"A little over a year ago, I was miserable. I felt tired all of the time, I craved sweet foods constantly, I was moody, and slightly depressed. My body felt heavier than it had ever felt and I was even starting to have trouble breathing at night when I slept or when I had to walk and talk at the same time. I HATED it! "-Jasmine Jordan
The Past
You would think that not being able to breathe easily would have been enough to force me into some type of movement right? It wasn't. It wasn't until I began having some health problems that I could no longer ignore that forced me to the doctor. Three or four doctor visits in my hometown and nothing was revealed. The only thing that was revealed is that I weighed 315 pounds. YIKES! I had always been heavy, fat, or plus-sized and I knew I had gotten larger, but didn't think that I was in the three hundred range. I figured I may have been in the high two hundreds, as if that were any better.
My health problems weren't getting any better. It was beginning to take a toll on my day to day activities. I always felt like I was active enough. I had a job in retail so I was constantly on my feet walking around. I told myself that walking back and forth all day and climbing ladders was my exercise. I could not understand why I had gained so much weight and to me it seemed like overnight.
I had been gaining weight increasingly from my High School senior year in 2006 and by 2008 it had become more noticeable among family and close friends. It didn't help that I was living the college lifestyle sleeping however long I wanted, eating noodles, cereal, pancakes, waffles, candy bars, pizza, burgers, and drinking juice. Notice there was no mention of vegetables. I rarely ate those unless I went to my parents' house and was forced. Even though I had started my retail job in 2006 and was walking everyday and walking back and forth to classes at school, I still wasn't getting enough exercise to kill those calories that I had accumulated from one fatty meal.
My family began to make comments about my weight every time they had not seen me for a while. Whether it was to mention that I looked like I may have lost a little weight or their health and fitness tips that just seemed out of the blue as I fixed my starch filled-no vegetable plate at family functions. My mother would say things like, "Jazz, don't you want to go get some vegetables?" Or there would be passive comments like, "All of that cake," which would be followed by a disapproving head shake. My grandmother would casually mention all day long about how she had seen videos to tighten up stomach fat or how she had seen diet plans, new fitness machines, weightloss programs and then finally she would just say, "Jazz, uh, you need to go see your uncle and do some Taebo." That comment would be followed by even MORE comments about who else lost weight in the family, who was trying to lose weight and who needed to. I was in the category of people who needed to. Even though my name was never mentioned I could catch a hint. I had spent years trying to love myself in my plus-sized body for who I was and any attempt I felt offensive was met with sarcasm, sharp comeback remarks, or immediate hostility. I believe I put up so much of a front that people actually believed I was happy with my weight. I became the greatest pretender.
The Truth
I was really unhappy. I felt powerless to do anything about it. I just accepted my weight and said, "Well, I won't get to 350. I still look good and I bet people won't even guess that I'm in the 300's." DELUSIONAL. At some point after that I reached my highest weight of 320. I discovered this secretly on my own. My mother called me at one point in the beginning of 2011 after I had moved out of her house and into my own apartment and said, "Jasmine," (She only calls me by my full first name in business settings, in public, or when she is serious), "you have GOT to lose some weight. I had a dream and you just HAVE to lose this weight." Now it was serious. My mother is the first one to go toe to toe with me about anything, but when it came to my weight she has always been up front but never this up front. She actually sounded nervous or scared. She wouldn't even tell me what the dream was about. She just kept saying that she didn't want to talk about it. Here I am in 2013 and she still won't tell me what the dream was about.
My eating habits were terrible. A funny thing happens when you move out from under your parents' wing. You discover you can do whatever you want! The thrill of answering for your own actions and coming and going whenever you want to and not having to answer for it is the best feeling. However, every action has a consequence and eating foods with hardly if any nutritional value was killing me.
Example of my eating habits:
- No Breakfast.
- Breakfast is important. It jump starts your metabolism and gives you energy to complete tasks.
- When I did eat breakfast I ate Doughnuts or sugary cereals.
- My excuse was that everyone else could eat those things and be thin or content. Why couldn't I?
- No Vegetables
- Even as a kid I never liked vegetables. It took my stepdad( more on him later) to convince me in high school years to eat broccoli and collard greens. I wanted no parts of veggies.
- Inconsistent Meals
- I skipped meals often. Sometimes I would go most of the day without eating, running on sugary juices, and chewing gum. When I finally ate, it would be late at night and I would be starving. Those late meals consisted of burgers, fries, juice, and probably some desert whether it was a candy bar, ice cream, or cookies.
- No Real Food
- A few times I may have killed my appetite with candy bars alone which meant no real food would be consumed that day.
"I was a VICTIM of MY own ABUSE."- Jasmine Jordan
I blamed my weight gain on genetics, as a child one of the doctors told my mother I could definitely afford to lose some weight, but because of my build, I would never be skinny. I took that and ran with it. I didn't like to run or do a whole lot of jumping anyway. I let genetics be an excuse for my laziness.
It wasn't until April of 2011 when I found a new doctor by new residence that I finally started getting to the "root" of the problem. I made an appointment, finally told everything that had been going on with me, including feeling depressed. After some blood tests and a week I was told that I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis . If I remember correctly, voicemail I received was, "Your thyroid is off the chain baby. Call me back, let's get you out of your misery," The Doctor said. I just sat there for a while. Then I started to cry. I had been experiencing female problems for over 6 months and now I find out that I had hypothyroid disease and this was the reason why. I was elated because I thought finally, this will be over. I take a pill and things are fixed, right? WRONG.
Little did I know that after that diagnosis I would be involved in what I call the FIGHT of MY LIFE. I also had a goiter in my neck caused from an enlarged thyroid gland. I had to have an ultrasound on it and was told that they were checking for CANCER. I was afraid. I was terrified. I didn't even let on how afraid I was. The good news was it wasn't cancer and my medicine did fix my swollen face.
Then I received yet another diagnosis. I had/have polycystic ovarian syndrome. The medicine associated with that was Metformin which is also used for people with diabetes. In short, my metabolism was shot from bad eating habits, my weight was up from bad eating habits, my under active thyroid, and polycystic ovarian syndrome which adds weight particularly to your midsection. Because I was so large, my polycystic ovarian syndrome was acting up. Everything was a chain reaction. In order to fix the PCOS I had to lose weight and take the Metformin. The Metformin made me so sick it was hard to eat anything which meant I couldn't take the medicine the right way because I had to have food in my stomach when I took it. I was nauseated all of the time. Because I was always sick, it made working out difficult. I may have lost my first 10 pounds from vomiting and playing Just Dance on my Wii. Just Dance became a family sport. I enjoyed trying to out dance all of my family members and friends.
This picture was taken in May of 2011 at a friend's son's birthday party. This was probably at 320 pounds.
This picture was taken at the end of May 2011 at my younger brother's High School graduation. This was probably at 320 pounds.
I believe this picture is from April 2010. I chose this picture because it shows every roll and dimple.
First Round
Out of frustration I quit the Metformin. I told my family at a family gathering that I was done taking the medicine and I did not care what it took, I would do whatever it was I had to do to keep from taking it. My stepdad pulled me to the side later that night and we went for a walk. He suffers from diabetes. He said he would pay for my membership, (because I couldn't afford it) if I would go to the gym with him in the mornings. I agreed. In my mind, I was helping my dad with his weight and getting his blood sugar under control. I tricked myself into thinking that this was all about helping him and just maybe I would get a little something out of it in the process.
Those first few mornings in May of 2012 were ROUGH( Yes, to took me a whole year to get it together). At 5 o'clock in the AM, Dad had my behind on the elliptical for 30 minutes that first day and I barely made it through the first ten minutes. I was already discouraged and complaining. I wanted to go home. It was too early, it was too hard, I couldn't do it. I had every excuse. Dad listened to me complain, and curse because over the course of that first week there was a whole lot of that! He didn't give up on me though. He let me talk mess and he started talking mess back to me. Before I knew it, it got a little easier. Fifteen minutes turned into twenty, twenty minutes turned into thirty, thirty minutes turned into forty-five. I started using My Fitness Pal. My family and I made a game out of it. It turned into our Facebook. My mom and sister started going to the gym with my dad and I. Somebody always had a workout partner. If I had to work, mom and dad went together. If dad couldn't go, my sister and I went. If mom needed a partner one of us if not all of us went. We all started losing weight. I went from my last doctor visit weighing 312 down to 294. I called my dad, brothers, mom, sister, aunt, close friends, and screamed! I was finally under 300 pounds!
May 5,2012
This pic was posted on my FB page at the date of May 5, 2012. I believe that this may have been
the week before when I was trying on the workout clothes I had just bought. It took me
at least a month before I would actually wear this top. I also have on a waist trimmer underneath.
I changed my eating habits. I ate the serving size of every food I ate. I read box labels. I cut high fructose syrup out of my diet all together. I did have to go back on my Metformin, but in smaller doses. I learned what foods aggravated my Metformin and discovered that high fructose syrups, large amounts of sugars, and breads affected it terribly. Yes, I learned this through trial and error therefore I had no choice but to leave my beloved honey buns, candy bars, and juices alone. I drank strictly water and only drifted from this with my cereal that I ate for breakfast with which I used Lactaid. Somewhere along the line, I had developed a lactose intolerance so my beloved ice cream was COMPLETELY out. I forced myself to eat vegetables as I discovered I like steamed veggies a lot. I was in the gym by 5:20 am five days a week, I ate breakfast by 7:00 am, had a healthy snack by 10:00 am, had lunch by 1:00pm, another snack by 3:30pm and dinner by 6:00pm every night. I started going to bed at a reasonable hour so there would be no need to snack late at night because I would already be asleep. After awhile it was easy. I added in Zumba with friends in the evenings at the gym to help break up the monotonous activity all the while I continued working, school, and playing Just Dance alone, and with friends to keep up with my exercise.
I lost inches before I lost weight. My arms and back went first. There is a waist trimmer on in the picture on the right. I believe these were taken a month apart.
The Present
My first goal is to get under 250 pounds. Right now, as of January 1st, 2013, I am 265 pounds. Round 2 will start after 250 pounds has been reached.
The picture on the left was from a family reunion in the late part of 2011 right before Fall. The picture on the right is from November 5, 2012. I finally reached my 50 pound weight loss mark.
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